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“Half an ass is never enough.”
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“Whole-ass one thing.”
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“Multi-tasking is for the mentally deranged.”
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Ron: “Since I am not a rabbit, no I do not.”
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Ron: “Chris, I never knew you had such a zany sense of humor.”
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Ron: “I don’t even want to hear that word. It’s too vulgar for the dinner table.”
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“…teenage girls with daddy issues.”
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“…old ladies with insufferable grandchildren.”
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“…rich women on diets.”
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“…Vegetarians.”
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“…Skim milk.”
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“…Being honest about feelings.”
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…You are not ice cream, and I will hate you forever for that.”
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“…How dare you?”
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“…You are the celery of desserts.”
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“…but not ridiculous.”
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“…without the stupid pants and the dirty hippies.”
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“…except I still get to kill something.”
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“…is a cat, and cats are pointless.”
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“…is a joke, not a pet.”
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“…is just kidding itself.”
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“…before I put my fist in it.”
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“…to block the words from coming out.”
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“…and eat some meat. You are a man.”
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“…so that I can be glad to leave this world behind.”
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“…so the police will not have to search far and wide for my murderer.”
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“…so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.”
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“America. Honor. Meat. Liberty. Breakfast.”
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“Bacon. Eggs. Whiskey. Steak. Farts.”
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“Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole.”
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“I have cried twice in my life. Once, when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus…”
NBC via Netflix
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“…and today, when I was recognized as a dedicated government employee. I am so ashamed.”
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“…and once again, when JJ’s Diner ran out of bacon. But today just might bring about time number three.”
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“…and then again when I heard that Lil’ Sebastian had passed.”
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“…and Herbie Fully Loaded.”
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“…and Old Yeller.”
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“…and Breakfast at Tiffany’s, which was not what I expected it to be.”
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