1. So the episode leaked early this week, but I waited until Sunday to watch because I am a SAINT.
2. Also, uh, I would never do anything illegal obviously.
3. Man, remember when Lady Olenna completely annihilated Jaime? That was great.
4. “Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls?” Fuck yeah Bronn she sure did.
5. So Olenna is gone, now Bronn is clearly reigning sassmaster.
6. “As soon as the gold arrives,” the banker said, foreshadowingly.
7. Oh shiiiiiit the Valyrian dagger is back!
8. Littlefinger, Bran is the one person who is fully capable of seeing through your bullshit. Careful, now.
9. When Bran does his little “I see everything” trick to Sansa it’s creepy, but when he says “chaos is a ladder” to Littlefinger, it’s FUCKING GREAT.
10. OK Bran, maybe be a little nicer to Meera. Like, pretend at least.
11. ARYA’S BACK!
12. There are about 1,000 reasons not to tell Arya to fuck off. I hope these guys learn one or two.
13. Y’all I can’t believe she made it.
14. SANSA KNOWS WHERE SHE IS AND I’M CRYING.
15. It’s even better because they’re like BFFs in real life so I love every second of this.
16. Awww, they’re bonding over wanting to kill Joffrey.
17. Sansa really is having a rough go of these reunions. Her family’s all weird now.
18. Her brother is a time traveler and her sister is a serial killer.
19. Fuck yeahhhhhh Arya’s getting a Valyrian steel dagger!
20. Time to stab some White Walkers.
21. Aww Brienne’s little smile at seeing Arya.
22. Pod’s got a nice little winter mustache going.
23. Whichever Child of the Forest was in charge of drawing White Walkers on the cave wall was a pretty good artist. It’s a very detailed rendering.
24. “I will fight for the North…………when you bend the knee.” That was a tease.
25. We had Daenerys basically holding a torch and saying “I will be your champion” there for a second.
26. Lol, Davos trying to get out of this awkward situation is like when you’re at your friend’s house and their parents are yelling at them.
27. Dany is just chewing out her kids and Davos and Jon are like “we’ll just go back home and eat dinner there, it’s OK.”
28. “He didn’t beat the Hound.” HE SURE AS FUCK DIDN’T.
29. Arya is KICKING ASS.
30. THIS FIGHT IS THE BEST FIGHT OF ALL THE FIGHTS.
31. “Who taught you how to do that?” “No one.” I’m dying. I’m dead.
32. Davos is shipping Jon and Daenerys too, we aren’t alone.
33. But Jon just SHUT IT DOWN.
34. Omg I love how Davos just lights up whenever Missandei is there, it’s so cute.
35. Theon/Jon reunion? Shit’s about to get real awkward.
36. Jon throttles all the right people.
37. King of throttling. Throttler in the North.
38. Uh oh…
39. That. Is a lot. Of Dothraki.
40. Been a while since we’ve heard a “Dracarys” command!
41. Girl, you’re burning all the gold and grain you could be taking. Hold up.
42. Bronn’s poor horse!
43. I think that’s the most horse violence we’ve seen on this show.
44. Guys I’m starting to think Bronn isn’t going to make it.
45. He was screwed from the moment they started talking about which castle he was going to get.
46. Y’all seriously thought an oversized crossbow was going to take down a dragon?
47. Oh shit, Jaime no!
48. No no no no NO.
49. Boy did Bronn just save your dumb ass.
50. Presumably?
51. THAT CANNOT BE THE END OF THIS EPISODE.
52. Damn. It.