1. The episode will always start with the Gaines family being adorable.
2. The kids will always be playing in a field or helping Joanna with a craft in the kitchen or playroom.
3. Drake will be wearing his baseball uniform.
4. Ella will be sassy.
5. The people looking for a house will either be first-time buyers or retirees.
6. Someone will be wearing Baylor gear.
7. Chip’s belly will make an appearance.
8. Chip will make a joke and Joanna will roll her eyes at him.
9. Watching them, you’ll secretly curse them for their perfect happiness.
10. But they’ll also make you believe that love is real, so it’s OK.
11. Chip will make at least one dad joke in each house they tour.
12. Joanna will call one of the houses a “blank slate.”
13. Joanna will suggest crown molding…
14. …and shiplap…
15. …and tearing down a wall to open up the kitchen.
16. Chip will make up a dare and do something dangerous, like running through a wall.
17. He will somehow be unharmed, but will definitely make a joke about getting old.
18. Chip will get stuck somewhere, like in a crawl space.
19. And Joanna will laugh at him.
20. Joanna will tell Chip not to do something, like bring home more animals.
21. But Chip will do it anyway.
22. Joanna will take Chip to the thrift store and he’ll try on something ridiculous.
23. Joanna will offer the clients three bonus projects, and one will be a pergola.
24. Chip will be almost finished with something, but he’ll have to re-do it because either Joanna or the clients changed their minds.
25. There will ALWAYS be an unexpected problem with the house.
26. And Joanna will be the one who has to call the clients.
27. But it’ll totally be fine.
28. At some point, you will cry about how much cheaper the houses are in Waco.
29. The clients will DEMAND a kitchen island.
30. And a farmhouse sink.
31. Joanna will request a table of some kind from Clint.
32. You will wonder if Clint is secretly in love with Joanna.
33. Because you are also secretly in love with Joanna.
34. Clint will be wearing a “Harp Design Co.” shirt.
35. Joanna will include a giant clock somewhere in the house.
36. She will also write something inspiring on a chalkboard.
37. Chip and the kids will bring her pie or cupcakes or something else you wish you were eating with them.
38. For some reason they will put a gigantic photo of the old house in front of the new house. No one knows why.
39. By the end of the episode, you will see at least one goat.
40. And distressed wood.
41. And a fancy vent hood over the stove.
42. Also, by the end of the episode, someone will cry.
43. It might be you.
44. And you’ll decide to move to Waco.