1. When Cristina has an ectopic pregnancy and she loses her baby.
And then you’re crying because watching Cristina Yang cry is like watching your own parent cry. And then you realize that you’ve accidentally eaten all of the mac ‘n’ cheese and everything is sad.
And you’re like, “No! Not Kyle Chandler! Kyle Chandler can’t die! He’s a good guy! He’s Coach Taylor, for god’s sake!” And then your mom is like, “You know that’s not Coach Taylor, right?”
3. When Meredith almost drowns and Derek saves her.
And you’re yelling at the little girl, “I KNOW THAT YOU’RE IN SHOCK RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU HAVE TO HURRY UP AND TELL DEREK THAT THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN. K, THANKS, BYE.” And then your mom’s like, “I think your taking your aggression out on the wrong person — she’s just a kid.”
4. When Bailey spends her whole day holding a dying child.
And then you start to question why you just watched an entire episode where you knew the ending was going to be nothing but terrible, aching sadness. And then you go to WebMD and look up “Can hiccups from too much crying kill you?”
5. When Alex finds out that Izzie has cancer.
And you see the fear, panic, sadness, and helplessness take over his eyes and you want to grab him and hug him forever. And then you call your best friend to tell her that you’ll be by her side no matter what, and she’s like, “What?”
6. When Denny dies after his surgery and Izzie can’t let go of him.
And you want to fall to the floor because your heart hurts so bad because her heart is breaking and you can feel it. And then your doorbell rings, but you can’t get up because the person at the door is going to ask what’s wrong and you don’t want to see their face when you explain that you’re crying over a fictional man’s death.
7. When you realize George O’Malley is John Doe.
And you yell at Meredith through the TV that her best friend is about to die and that she needs to save him, but they don’t and everything is the worst because the sweetest man has died. Also, you realize you’re out of wine and that your mom’s shoulder is wet from your tears.
8. When the gunman enters the hospital and kills Reed.
And you can’t stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks because you know that if he killed Reed without he blinking an eye, he’s going to hurt someone you really love on the show. And then you ask your mom if she’ll hold your hand and she says no.
9. And when Alex is found bleeding out in the elevator.
And the tears keep on coming because you know the episode isn’t even halfway over. And then you google “elevator deaths” to figure out if you should ever get in one again.
10. And when Mandy Moore and Bailey hide from the shooter.
And you’re hysterically crying while Mandy Moore’s character is holding her breath and pretending she’s dead and while Bailey is being pulled out from under the bed. And then you realize you don’t know what’s going on because your blanket is covering your face.
11. And when Derek is shot by the gunman.
And you scream as Meredith screams and now you’re uncontrollably crying because Meredith is pregnant and they were finally going to be happy together. But because you don’t have a Cristina to hold you back from running to Derek, you’re now at your TV holding it for comfort and your mom is like, “Seriously, calm down.”
12. And then when Cristina tries to save Derek while the gunman stands right next to her.
And you’re like, HOW DID THIS SOMEHOW GET EVEN WORSE? And tears are rolling down your cheek because you are Cristina and Cristina is you.
13. When Cristina wasn’t able to save Henry and Teddy made her recite what happened in the surgery over and over again.
And you’re like, “Cristina, this isn’t your fault, you did the best you could do.” And then you turn to Teddy and are like, “Teddy, please, please stop this. It’s not helping anyone.” And then your mom is like, “Stop talking to the TV.”
14. When Callie and Arizona get into a car crash.
And your heart stops for a second because Calzona doesn’t need pain. And then your mom is like, “Wait, why is everyone singing right now?” and you’re like, “Listen, no one knows the answer to that.”
15. When Lexie dies from the plane crash as Mark tells her he loves her.
And you’re like, “WHY, SHONDA, WHY.” And then your mom pulls the pen and paper our of your hands and tells you to think about what you’re doing.
16. And when Mark finally dies from the plane crash.
And your heart feels tricked because you thought he was going to make it and live a beautiful life but really Shonda was just setting you up for tears. And now your mom is like, “What’s wrong with you? You keep on saying ‘McSteamy’ over and over again.” And you’re like, “You don’t understand — YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.”
17. When April and Jackson hold their baby as he dies.
And your heart is about to explode out of sadness because it’s personal when a Grey’s Anatomy couple goes through this kind of pain, and also, you don’t understand why Shonda hates you. Then your mom informs you that Shonda definitely was not thinking about you when this episode was created and that she was just trying to make good TV. And then you’re like, “No, she hates me.”
18. And *sob* when *sob* everything *sob* happens *sob* with *sob* Derek.
And all your years of TV watching lets you know that reaching for your phone in a car means that something bad is about to happen and then it does and you can’t breathe. And then your mom hands you a glass of water because she says she thinks you’re getting dehydrated from crying so much.
19. And then watching as those ~stranger~ doctors try to save Derek.
And you’re screaming at the TV, “Someone figure out that this is Doctor freakin’ Shepherd and save his goddamn life,” while tears blur your vision. And now you’re on the floor, inches away from the TV, trying to touch Derek’s face, and your mom takes a photo of you so “you’ll know how crazy you looked while watching fictional characters on a TV show.”
20. And when Meredith unplugs the love of her life.
And you unplug your TV from the wall and try to throw it out the window but your mom says, “That’s it. This show is not good for you. Put the TV down and get ahold of yourself.”
21. And finally, when Doc dies because you didn’t think Shonda would kill off an innocent, fluffy dog.
For shame, Shonda. For shame.