18 Movies That Would've Been Much Shorter If The Main Characters Weren't So Ridiculous

Every movie lover has endured the experience of watching a character make a RIDICULOUSLY DUMB decision. The type of decision that could’ve been avoided.

MGM Distribution Co.

Even the strongest among us have SCREAMED at our TV.

Well, this week Reddit user Webshank_com asked, “What movie could have been over in 10 minutes if the main character wasn’t such a dumbass?” and the responses were SO FREAKIN’ TRUE.

Here are just a FEW of the best edits made to iconic films:


The Little Mermaid

“If Ariel could read and write (which she demonstrates), then why didn’t she just write the prince a note? To all the people who say she doesn’t speak the same language as Eric…when they meet on the beach, he asks her questions and she tries to answer? That shows that they can understand each other verbally??? Also, the contract she signed was in ENGLISH. And to those who ask what she would write in the note, here’s what I think:

‘Dear Hottie Eric,

DTF, I just lost my voice, I swear that it is not contagious or anything, LOL. If you are DTF too, just give me a kiss to let me know and we can get this party started.




Jurassic Park

“If John Hammond had shelled out a bit more money for his I.T. department…”



Jingle All The Way

“Had he just purchased the Turbo-Man toy when his wife asked in October, the movie wouldn’t exist.”


20th Century Fox



“In the first movie, Megatron is trying to find the cube, and Sam has the glasses with the coordinates. He sends Barricade to go interrogate Sam. We’ve already established that Transformers can learn Earth’s languages and hack the military’s computers in seconds. Sam is selling the glasses on Ebay. Why didn’t Megatron just BUY the glasses?”




“Dante should have just said ‘no’ since it was his day off.”



The Descent

“If that one girl hadn’t lied to everyone about what cave they were going to, none of the events would have happened.”


Pathé Distribution


Amityville Horror

“House: ‘GET OUT!’

Family: All righty then.'”




“‘She blocked my email address so I have to go to Europe to contact her!’ No dumbass, just make another email account and email her to explain the mistake.”




“I can’t help but feel like the instructions were very clear…”


Warner Bros.


The Big Lebowski

“The entire plot would have been avoided if The Dude had checked the contents of the brief case, or if he had NOT brought Walter along.”




“If E.T. would have just gotten back to the spaceship on time, his ass wouldn’t have gotten stuck on earth.”




“I’ve babysat my younger siblings a ton of times and yet, somehow, I never wished them away to the Goblin King, no matter how frustrated I got. Toby was, like, two at most, he’d have been asleep in like 30 minutes if she’d just kept her goddamn cool!”


TriStar Pictures


Alien: Convenant

“All these brilliant scientists and they’re done-in by taking off their helmets? Leaving their helmets on would have stopped literally all of their deaths.”



The Original Star Wars Trilogy

“Not any character in particular, but the entire Original Trilogy could have been over in 10 minutes if the imperial soldiers just shot the escape pod with R2-D2, C-3PO, and the Death Star plans. I mean, they could’ve at least sent a team to intercept the pod instead of assuming it was empty and allowing it escape.”



Back to the Future Part II

“Doc Brown: ‘Hey Marty, your future kid is an idiot. Fortunately, you have 30 years to change the outcome. Maybe consider moving to a different town, or sending him to a private school, or something?”

Marty: ‘Okay, thanks.’

The end.”


Universal Pictures


Home Alone 2

“Surprised no one said it already. Kevin did NOT need to change his batteries for his Talkboy while his family was running to their gate. He had a several hour plane ride that he could have done it on, but instead he HAD to change them while running through the terminal? What an idiot.”



Pirates of the Caribbean

“The entire movie is a lot of trying to prevent the bad guys from getting that one coin, but if they just GAVE them the coin, the bad guys would become mortal and then they could kill them? Which is exactly what they do at the end???”



And finally, literally any Batman movie ever:

“Bruce Wayne: ‘Dad, I am scared.’

Thomas Wayne: ‘Bruce, we paid good money to watch this opera, just cover your ears and go to sleep.'”


Warner Bros.

So now it’s your turn! What movie would’ve been exceptionally shorter had the characters just thought a little harder about their choices? Do you agree with the above edits? Sound off in the comments below!

Some thread entries have been edited for length or clarity. H/T Reddit.