He had me at “I’d like to apologize on behalf of my entire gender.”

So last night on After the Final Rose, all of us in Bachelor Nation shook in our stilettos as our Lord and Savior Becca Kufrin was crowned next season’s bachelorette!!!

Arie who?

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While her rightful* crowning was pretty anticipated, the real shocker came when Chris Harrison announced that her season was beginning RIGHT THEN, RIGHT THERE.

*my opinion, but let’s be honest, it’s fact.

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Suddenly, some magical Bachelor forest nymphs came out and set up a backdrop of the Bachelor Mansion which blocked a good portion of the live studio audience, but we’re not here to talk about that. WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE FIRST FIVE HANDSOME FELLERS THAT CAME TO WIN BECCA’S LUUUUUUUURV!!!

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SO BRING ON THE BOYZ!!!

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Lincoln aka “‘Arie is a Wankah’ Guy”

PROS: Lincoln was sooooo nervous and it was PRECIOUS! He’s sweet, charming, and not to mention, British. Also, yesterday was his birthday and so that makes him a sensitive little Pisces who could TOTALLY be the water to Becca’s Aries fire. Oh yeah, and he called Arie “a wankah.”

CONS: None… YET.

Twitter had a lot of feeling about him:

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Chase aka “Eyebrow Guy”

PROS: Chase was super sweet and told Becca, “I saw what you went through last night. You deserve better than that.” Obviously, that got a huge “AWW” from the audience.

CONS: He has funny eyebrows.

No one really tweeted about Chase except for this girl who was in his English class sophomore year:

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Ryan aka “Hot Banjo Guy”

PROS: He sings, he plays banjo, he’s sooooooper hot and kind of looks like beloved Bachelor in Paradise bartender Wells Adams?

CONS: His blazer looked like a heinous couch.

Like Lincoln, Twitter was also particularly ~taken~ by Ryan:

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Darius aka “Horny Guy”

PROS: Darius is handsome and apologized to Becca “on behalf of his entire gender.” YAAAAAS!!!

CONS: He checked Becca out like a total creep, and I’m predicting he’s a gonna be a big source of ~drama~ this season.

Twitter seemed divided:

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Blake aka “Horse Guy”

PROS: Blake seems really sweet and he made his grand entrance with a horse (which confused everyone at first) and then told Becca that he “wants to be the man to help her get back up on the horse.” AWWWWWWWWW!!!

CONS: None off the bat.

And as for Twitter:

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Needless to say, I think Becca’s season is going to be FAB and I already marked May 28th on my Google Cal!!! 💁🌹

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