Trigger Warnings We Actually Need

Director Zoe Kravitz’ “Blink Twice opens with a trigger warning, according to Film Threat founder Chris Gore.

People magazine has the scoop.

“Blink Twice is a psychological thriller about the abuse of power…While this is a fictionalized movie, it contains mature themes and depictions of violence — including sexual violence. This may be upsetting or triggering for some viewers. For resources that offer support, visit BlinkTwiceResources.com.”

Absurd? A sign of the times? Cinematic progress?

Put all of that aside. If this is the wave of the future, then we need trigger warnings on the following titles:

The Acolyte” — WARNING: Viewing this Disney+ series may permanently scar your love for all things “Star Wars.”

Barbie” — WARNING: Male viewers may experience nausea and/or vomiting during America Ferrera’s Yas, Queen speech. Female audiences, too.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga” — WARNING: This saga lacks Max.

“The Fall Guy” — WARNING: This 2024 film has zero connection to the source material besides the hero’s name and the cameos you missed when you left the theater early.

“Twisters” — WARNING: No cows fly in this reboot.

“The Marvels” — WARNING: Brie Larson stars in this film.

“Dr. Who” – WARNING: You may earn extra college credits toward your Critical Race Theory major.

“Baby Reindeer” — WARNING: You may never be nice to a sullen stranger again after watching this Netflix show.

Borderlands” — WARNING: This is the second most embarrassing thing Jack Black did this summer.

“Inside Out 2”WARNING: Disney’s extreme woke agenda is nowhere to be found in this charming sequel. Wait … that’s not a warning. It’s a perk!

Have other trigger warning suggestions? Please leave them in the comments below.

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