An emotional person vs. an emotional movie.

I recently watched a film some people said was the scariest movie on Netflix, Veronica. Now that I’ve gotten a healthy dose of horror, I’d like to get in touch with my emotions by watching the saddest movie on Netflix.

I searched the phrase “saddest movie on Netflix” on Twitter, and the results made it pretty clear that Irreplaceable You has been making folks feel feelings.

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Here’s what Irreplaceable You is about according to Netflix:

“A stunning cancer diagnosis spurs Abbie to seek a future girlfriend for fiancé and childhood sweetheart Sam, who’s clueless when it comes to dating.”

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WARNING: Contains minor spoilers.

I can tell from the description alone that this is going to ruin me, but without further ado, it’s time to take a feel trip.

BuzzFeed

The movie opens with the main character, Abbie, already dead. Her voiceover reveals that she’s talking to you from the afterlife.

I was hoping there’d be a happy ending in which the main character survived, but I suppose this makes it easier to be mentally prepared for her death.

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Wow, they show how Abbie and Sam first met when they were children and it’s adorable.

I REFUSE TO LET THEM GET ME EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN THIS RELATIONSHIP KNOWING HOW IT’S GOING TO GO.

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Ok, I got emotionally invested in this relationship within the first 15 minutes.

You see Abbie and Sam as kids, as adults at home together, alone at their respective jobs, and together with friends, excited about getting married and having a baby. Before you know it, you care. You care hard.

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Heads up, instead of playing, “Where do I know this talented actress from?” for several minutes like I did, Abbie is played by Gugu Mbatha-Raw.

She starred in Black Mirror’s “San Junipero,” she was in The Cloverfield Paradox, and she played Mrs. Murray in A Wrinkle In Time, amongst many other roles through the years.

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I can appreciate that there’s still some humor infused into what seems to be heading towards a very sad story.

For example, Abigail was told that she’s not pregnant and she has a cancerous tumor in her pelvis. One of the first things she did was cancel her gym membership with funny, logical reasoning.

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There’s a Christopher Walken and Kate McKinnon sighting!

Walken and McKinnon play two characters who are in a crochet therapy class that Abbie takes with other terminal patients.

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Abbie is going to great lengths to scout out potential new boos for Sam when she dies.

She’s used dating apps, setup an online profile for him, and even met with other women, basically interviewing them to see if they’d be a good fit.

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Sam got upset with Abbie when he found out she was trying to set him up with other women and he slipped up and said something that hurt her feelings.

He tried to apologize real quick but she’s very upset and it’s making me very upset. ANNOYED WITH SAM’S LACK OF EMPATHY METER: 5/10

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Sam is being wack. First he was mad that Abbie created the dating profiles, then he acted cool with it, now he’s mocking her for buying a ring for him to propose to his future partner with.

Abbie’s just trying to make sure Sam’s goofy ass has some sort of love life once she’s gone and he’s being a smug ‘lil dingus. FED UP WITH SAM METER: 7/10

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So Abbie and Sam have been taking space since their last argument and without going into detail, Sam did something stupid and shitty, which led to Abbie telling him not to touch her.

They had a falling out, big style. Everything is in shambles.
FULLY DONE WITH SAM’S BULLSHIT METER: 10 OUT OF 10.

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In the past few minutes, MULTIPLE BAD, SAD THINGS HAVE HAPPENED TO ABBIE. Not just to her, but to someone she cared for. It’s brutal.

You ever watch a movie that’s good, but it’s so sad that you’ll probably never watch it again? This is one of them. SAD METER: 10/10 gallons of tears.

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There are only 21 minutes left and we are at Abbie’s lowest point thus far. I’m worried that’s not enough time to tie together loose ends and give this story a proper closure.

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So, Abbie came to the conclusion that she should save her relationship.

Sam’s been pretty useless the latter half of this movie, so of course Abbie is going to be the one to take the initiative and fix things. I’m shaking my head so hard I almost got dizzy.

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OK something big happens when Abbie goes to meet Sam and I’ll let you choose to watch the movie for yourself or click to spoil it.

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So, after the big thing happens, there’s a final scene that involves Sam reading a letter from Abbie and IT WILL RUIN YOU.

Had I not been watching in public and containing my emotions, I feel like an ugly cry would’ve taken place. I’m talking Dawson’s Creek / Darryl Dixon style.

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FINAL THOUGHTS:

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