Two words: Scary Terry.
When Jake and Rosa perfectly out-witted Amy.
Jake: Rules are made to be broken.
Amy: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Jake: Uh, piñatas.
Rosa: Glow sticks.
Jake: Karate Boards.
Rosa: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
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When Amy went undercover as a pregnant convict and Boyle delighted in it…
Boyle: I think it’s amazing. Jake and Amy and baby makes three. I don’t know if I believe in God, but I have prayed for this.
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… because Boyle is a huge Amy/Jake shipper.
Boyle: Hey guys, I just discovered a new drug, too. It’s called “Your Relationship,” and I’m high on it.
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To the point where it’s almost creepy. But also hilarious.
Jake: Ok, you and Rosa follow Augustine.
Boyle: Right, and you and Amy follow your hearts.
Jake: No! We’re gonna stay with the package.
Boyle: And each other, forever.
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When we got a very stark glimpse into what Captain Holt was like as a child.
Holt: This brings back memories. I loved playing doctor as a child.
Young Holt: The cancer has spread. Get your house in order.
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And we learned a little something about young Rosa. And Jake, too.
Rosa: When I was a kid, I had a major crush on the evil Gremlin.
Jake: Stripe?! Are you crazy?
Rosa: Yeah, well, I’m not gonna bone Gizmo.
Jake: I would.
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When Amy really wanted to make a good impression on Jake’s mom.
Mrs. Peralta: I think she’s really great.
Amy: I think you’re really great too.
Jake: She’s very good at lip reading.
Amy: I wouldn’t say I’m very good. I mean, deaf people, they’re the real talents.
Jake: Just can’t stop.
Amy: I’ll let you guys talk. I’ll just close my eyes.
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When Gina leaned into a psychic prediction.
Gina: Last week, she predicted I would have a sensuous encounter with a guy named Mark. And I did.
Gina: (at the bar) Is anyone here named Mark?
…
You’re good.
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Every time Jake used Amy’s words to name her sex tape.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: “Kind, sober, and fully dressed.” Good news everyone, we found the name of Santiago’s sex tape.
Amy: This Halloween, I was the jerk. I’m sorry about tonight.
Jake: “I’m sorry about tonight.” We found the title for Santiago’s follow-up sex tape.
Amy: I’m horrible at this. When can we stop?
Jake: “I’m horrible at this, when can we sto…”
Amy: I know, I know. Title of my sex tape.
Amy: Just as long as we’re clear that I’m with someone and nothing is gonna happen.
Jake: “I’m with someone, nothing’s gonna happen,” name of your sex tape.
Amy: This better not bite me in the ass.
Jake: “Better not bite me in the ass,” name of your sex tape. But seriously, thank you so much for your help.
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When Rosa understood the love of a dog.
Rosa: I didn’t understand why people care so much about their dumb dogs until I got a dumb dog myself. I’ve only had Arlo for a day and a half. But if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
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When Jake read Harry Potter for Amy because LOVE.
Jake: I guess you could say he’s the golden snitch.
Amy: Wait. Was that a Harry Potter reference?
Jake: It most definitely was. I started reading them ’cause you love them so much.
Amy: AND??
Jake: You were right! They’re incredible. Remember when I called in sick the other day? I was at home, reading Order of the Phoenix.
Amy: Oh, this makes me so happy! How sad is it when Cedric dies?
Jake: I was crushed. Literally. Crying. On. The toilet.
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When Jake extolled the virtues of being the little spoon.
Sophia: You think I might tell everyone in the courtroom that you like to be the little spoon?
Jake: Everyone likes to be the little spoon. It makes you feel safe! Carl, back me up on this.
Carl: Yes, little spoon all the way.
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When Amy banked some sweet blackmail images of young Jake.
Amy: Did you have a nose ring in high school?
Jake: Yes. Until it got infected and I almost went blind. Don’t tell anyone!
Amy: Cool. It’s our secret. Just gonna check my email up high.
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When Rosa didn’t want to make small talk.
Rosa: I hate small talk. Let’s drink in silence.
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When a lie detector got Jake and Terry to live their truth.
Jake: See? It’s busted.
Terry: Is it? Or is your favorite artist really Taylor Swift?
Jake: No.
Terry: Lie.
Jake: Alright, fine. She is. She makes me feel things.
Terry: She makes ALL of us feel things!
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When we met “Scary Terry.”
Boyle: I need someone to fill out a lineup. Will you be Scary Terry?
Terry: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what Regular Terry’s thinking.
Terry (as Scary Terry): THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG! I’M GONNA MISS THE FARMER’S MARKET!
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When Captain Holt roasted Jake over his messy locker.
Holt: Here are two pictures. One is your locker. And the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you tell which is which?
Jake: That one’s the dump?
Holt: They’re both your locker!
Jake: Ahh, I should have guessed that. He’s good!
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When Boyle’s love for his BFF Jake was so powerful.
Boyle: What about me? What if something happens to Jake and he never gets to meet my baby? I don’t want to hang out with some stupid baby who’s never met Jake.
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And finally, when Jake proved that Terry would always catch him, literally, no matter what.
Jake: If I run and leap at Terry, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. Coming in!
Terry: NO! I’M HOLDING COFFEE!
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