Warning: Spoilers Ahead.
Stranger Things 2 brought us some epic new characters…
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Max.
AKA My Queen.
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Bob.
Sean Astin has been winning Hollywood’s “Most Adorable” award for 32 straight years.
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Erica.
THIS CHILD IS EVERYTHING.
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Kali.
So. Badass.
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And even Dr. Owens.
He was sketchy at first, but he pulled through.
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But one new character really set Hawkins back…
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Billy fucking Hargrove.
When he first speeds up in a Camaro while blasting “Rock You Like A Hurricane” we think “Okaaaay, who is the new Hawkins Hottie??”
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We’re teased a little…
Where will those legs lead?!
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…we think MAYBE they’re about to reveal the new man of our dreams…
Heyo.
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…But instead, we get this MONSTROSITY of a haircut.
Who chose this wig??
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And this horrible excuse for lip hair!
BLARF.
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These girls are being DUPED by jeans.
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How you gonna do Tommy H. like that, Carol?
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But even if he didn’t have the hair of a monster, he’s also just a real piece of shit.
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He almost ran over our precious bbs!
This was, by far, the scariest scene of the season.
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He is horrible to Max.
GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF HER!
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He hates Lucas for NO REASON.
He’s either jealous that a boy is paying attention to his sister or straight up racist. Either way, BAD. BAD BAD BAD.
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He picks on Steve, disrupting the ENTIRE social order of Hawkins High.
BACK. THE. FUCK. OFF.
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Like, even in the SHOWER.
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Sure, we feel bad for him when we find out his dad is Trash King Sr…
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…And we can’t really blame Mrs. Wheeler for giving in to his charms…
Her husband was snoring in a chair while she read erotic literature in the bath. She needed this.
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…But there was no redeeming him after he beat the shit out of Steve.
This is the face of a goddamn MANIAC.
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Thankfully, Max stabbed his ass.
BUH BYE.
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But knowing he’s still walking around Hawkins while others didn’t make it is INFURIATING.
YOU DON’T DESERVE THIS TOWN, BILLY. Go back to Power Ranging.
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Shoutout to Dacre Montgomery, though, who is definitely dreamy IRL.
Here’s hoping Billy will get some kind of Frankenstein brain transplant in Season 3.
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