This does not include words that Seinfeld coined, like “Festivus,” nor does it include phrases, like “close talker.” It is simply single words or names that pre-dated Seinfeld.
1. Cookie
Normal definition: A small sweet cake, typically round, flat, and crisp.
Seinfeld definition: Something to refer to for the key to racial harmony, particularly when said cookie is of the black and white variety.
“Look to the cookie.”
2. Moviefone
Normal definition: A movie listing and information service — originally a phone number, now a website — from which moviegoers can obtain local showtimes, theatre information, film reviews, or advance tickets.
Seinfeld definition: What Kramer pretends to be when his phone number becomes one digit off from Moviefone’s.
“Why don’t you just tell me the name of the movie you’ve selected?”
3. Serenity
Normal definition: The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.
Seinfeld definition: A phrase used in self-help tapes that ultimately creates the opposite of the desired effect. Not intended to be yelled.
See more: Insanity later; hoochie mama; Lloyd Braun.
4. Flagged
Normal definition: To mark (an item) for attention or treatment in a specified way.
Seinfeld definition: What is done to a book that has been taken into a bathroom at a bookstore.
See also: Brentano’s; Rebecca de Mornay.
5. Bro
Normal definition: Short for brother; a male friend.
Seinfeld definition: A bra designed for men to help support their upper bodies. Appealing to German tourists.
See also: Manssiere.
6. Vault
Normal definition: An arched structure of masonry usually forming a ceiling or roof, an underground storage compartment, a burial chamber.
Seinfeld definition: Where secrets and gossip are stored. Elaine’s is accessible only through copious amounts of alcohol, particularly peppermint schnapps.
7. Downtown
Normal definition: Of, in, or characteristic of the central area or main business and commercial area of a town or city. The downtown area of a city.
Seinfeld definition: Far enough from uptown to be considered “long distance”. Features the intersection of 1st Avenue and 1st Street, aka the nexus of the universe.
See also: Petula Clark; Mr. Wilhelm.
8. Hello
Normal definition: Used as a greeting or to begin a telephone conversation.
Seinfeld definition: What Jerry’s girlfriend Claire’s belly button would say if it could talk. Expressed in a deep, booming, yet jolly, voice.
See also: La, la, la.
9. Soup
Normal definition: A a liquid dish, typically made by boiling meat, fish, or vegetables, etc., in stock or water.
Seinfeld definition: Not a meal. An often delicious dish, particularly when prepared by Yev “The Soup Nazi” Kassem. A food that can be taken away if proper protocol is not followed when ordering it.
See also: Jambalaya; mulligatawny; turkey chili.
10. Go
Normal definition: Move from one place or point to another; travel. Leave, depart.
Seinfeld definition: An acceptable alternative to “hello” when answering a phone call.
11. Babka
Normal definition: A loaf-shaped coffee cake made with sweet yeast dough to which raisins, chocolate, or nuts may be added.
Seinfeld definition: A perfect dessert for a dinner party; available from Royal Bakery in chocolate and cinnamon varieties, however, some consider the cinnamon flavor to be inferior to the chocolate version.
12. Rochelle
Normal definition: A female name of French origin.
Seinfeld definition: A woman who goes on an erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.
See also: Checkmate; Death Blow; Chunnel; Sack Lunch, Ponce de Leon; Prognosis Negative; Cry, Cry Again; Blimp; Brown-Eyed Girl; Agent Zero; Chow Fun; Firestorm; The Pain and the Yearning; Blame It On the Rain; et al.
13. Gold
Normal definition: A yellow precious metal, the chemical element of atomic number 79, valued especially for use in jewelry and decoration, and to guarantee the value of currencies.
Seinfeld definition: Kenny Bania’s favored adjective to describe something perfect, ideal, or genius.
See more: The best; Mendy’s.
14. Calzone
Normal definition: A type of pizza that is folded in half before cooking to contain a filling.
Seinfeld definition: An ideal lunch, thanks to its pita pocket, which prevents dripping. Far superior to corned beef, which is too fatty. Preferably obtained from Pisano’s, which will warm pants in their pizza oven.
See also: Tip jar.
15. Pony
Normal definition: A horse of a small breed, especially one whose height at the withers is below 58 inches.
Seinfeld definition: Something you wouldn’t expect immigrants like Manya to have in their home countries.
“I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony. Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn’t make sense.”
16. Twirl
Normal definition: To spin quickly and lightly around, especially repeatedly.
Seinfeld definition: An umbrella-spinning technique allegedly invented by Jerry to make the product look more attractive.
See also: Teddy Padillac.
17. Shrinkage
Normal definition: The process, fact, or amount of shrinking.
Seinfeld definition: The shrinking of a man’s penis in cold water, particularly pool water. Can be compared to a frightened turtle.
“I was in the pool! I was in the pool!”
18. Pretzels
Normal definition: A type of baked bread product made from dough most commonly shaped into a twisted knot.
Seinfeld definition: A key part of a line from a Woody Allen film, prone to creating heightened amounts of thirst.
19. Latex
Normal definition: A milky fluid found in many plants, such as poppies and spurges, that exudes when the plant is cut and coagulates on exposure to the air.
Seinfeld definition: A commodity sold by Vandelay Industries.
20. Grace
Normal definition: Simple elegance or refinement of movement. A prayer said before a meal.
Seinfeld definition: A quality you either have or you do not have, one that Jackie O possessed great amounts of. It cannot be acquired or picked up at the market.
“I don’t have grace, I don’t want grace, I don’t even say grace, okay?”
21. Trifecta
Normal definition: A bet in which the person betting forecasts the first three finishers in a race in the correct order. A run of three wins or grand events.
Seinfeld definition: Combining sex, watching television, and eating into one activity.
22. Velvet
Normal definition: A closely woven fabric of silk, cotton, or nylon, that has a thick short pile on one side.
Seinfeld definition: George’s favorite fabric.
23. Broccoli
Normal definition: A cabbage of a variety similar to the cauliflower, bearing heads of green or purplish flower buds. It is widely cultivated as a vegetable.
Seinfeld definition: A vile weed. Available in Kenny Rogers Roasters’ Family Feast meal option. Good for you.
24. Rye
Normal definition: A type of bread made with various proportions of flour from rye grain. It can be light or dark in color, and is typically denser than bread made from wheat flour.
Seinfeld definition: A type of bread best made in a marbled fashion from Schnitzer’s Bakery. Difficult to obtain and can be brought to a dinner, however, unacceptable to take back home if not served with the meal.
See also: Fishing line; robbery; old bag; Mable Choate.
25. Sponge
Normal definition: A primitive sedentary aquatic invertebrate with a soft porous body that is typically supported by a framework of fibers or calcareous or glassy spicules. A contraceptive device. A cleaning utensil.
Seinfeld definition: Elaine’s preferred contraceptive device, which she has a limited quantity of and therefore must ration when contemplating sexual partners.
See also: Spongeworthy.
26. Executive
Normal definition: A a person with senior managerial responsibility in a business organization.
Seinfeld definition: The name of the beltless trenchcoat that Morty invented.
“Raincoats were my business. The Executive was a classic, these haven’t been made in twenty years.”
27. Kicks
Normal definition: Slang for sneakers. Strikes or forcible movements with the foot.
Seinfeld definition: A dry heave set to music.
See also: Earth Wind and Fire’s “Shining Star.”
28. Cereal
Normal definition: A breakfast food made from roasted grain, typically eaten with milk.
Seinfeld definition: An ideal meal, sometimes comes with a toy dinosaur.
29. Catfight
Normal definition: A fight between women.
Seinfeld definition: An appealing sight for men; women are grabbing and clawing at each other. contains the possibility that the two women might somehow kiss.
See also: Raquel Welch.
30. Pez
Normal definition: The brand name of an Austrian candy and their famous mechanical pocket dispensers. The candy itself takes the shape of pressed, dry, straight-edged, curved-corner blocks, with Pez dispensers holding 12 Pez pieces.
Seinfeld definition: A Tweety Bird-shaped, laugh-inducing distraction at a piano recital.
31. Pirate
Normal definition: A person who attacks and robs ships at sea.
Seinfeld definition: What the puffy shirt makes Jerry resemble.
“But I don’t wanna be a pirate!”
32. Cowboy
Normal definition: A man, typically one on horseback, who herds and tends cattle, especially in the western U.S. and as represented in westerns and novels.
Seinfeld definition: What one must wear when all pairs of sneakers are at the mom & pop shop. Difficult to run in, particularly when fleeing from robbers. As undesirable a look as that of a pirate.
“But I don’t wanna be a cowboy!”
33. Twix
Normal definition: A chocolate bar made by Mars, Inc., consisting of biscuit applied with other confectionery toppings and coatings.
Seinfeld definition: The only candy with a cookie crunch; what George selects from the car dealership vending machine, but it gets stuck.
34. Proctologist
Normal definition: A medical professional that deals with the structure and diseases of the anus, rectum, and sigmoid colon.
Seinfeld definition: An assman. Someone with a very good sense of humor. Familiar with million-in-one-shots.
See also: Fusilli; the move; stopping short.
35. Dingo
Normal definition: A wild dog found in Australia.
Seinfeld definition: What may have eaten a partygoer’s fiancé.
36. Butter
Normal definition: A solid dairy product made by churning fresh or fermented cream or milk, to separate the butterfat from the buttermilk.
Seinfeld definition: An alternative to shaving cream. Should not be applied before sunbathing.
37. Regift
Normal definition: To give (a gift one has received) to someone else.
Seinfeld definition: What is done with a Label Baby Jr.
See also: Degift; Tim Whatley.
38. Wizard
Normal definition: A man who has magical powers, especially in legends and fairy tales.
Seinfeld definition: An electronic organizer that cost $250. Not just a tip calculator.
See also: Willard.
39. Soda
Normal definition: Carbonated water (originally made with sodium bicarbonate) drunk alone or with liquor or wine.
Seinfeld definition: A perfect name for a child; better than Seven. One that sounds strange the first time you hear it, like Blanche.
40. Seven
Normal definition: The equivalent to the sum of three and four; one more than six, or three less than ten.
Seinfeld definition: A beautiful name for a boy or girl. Mickey Mantle’s number.
“Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you’re doing that child quite a service.”
41. Square
Normal definition: A plane figure with four equal straight sides and four right angles.
Seinfeld definition: A unit of toilet paper that one may lend, or “spare” to a fellow bathroom-goer who needs it. Highly prized, even in the single-ply form.
“I don’t have a square to spare.”
42. Ocean
Normal definition: A very large expanse of sea, in particular, each of the main areas into which the sea is divided geographically.
Seinfeld definition: Calvin Klein’s blatant ripoff of Kramer’s “The Beach” fragrance. Something that runs out of shrimp.
43. Bosco
Normal definition: A brand of chocolate syrup.
Seinfeld definition: A highly-secretive ATM code. J. Peterman’s mother’s dying words.
44. Opposite
Normal definition: Having a position on the other or further side of something; facing something, especially something of the same type.
Seinfeld definition: A way to live a better life. Something George should stick with.
See also: Tuna on toast; tea; unemployed; living with parents.
45. Pick
Normal definition: To choose (someone or something) from a number of alternatives, typically after careful thought.
Seinfeld definition: A nose scratch that involves no nostril penetration. A means to escape an undesirable relationship.
“I guarantee you that Moses was a picker. You wander through the desert for forty years with that dry air. You’re telling me you’re not going to have occasion to clean house a little bit?”
46. Nip
Normal definition: Pinch, squeeze, or bite sharply. Slang for “nipple.”
Seinfeld definition: Elaine’s office-wide nickname after a revealing Christmas card photo. A little round circular protuberance.
47. Chucker
Normal definition: A person who throws something.
Seinfeld definition: Someone who hogs the basketball and just shoots every time they get the ball.
“No way I’m a chucker, I do not chuck, never chucked, never have chucked, never will chuck, no chuck!”
48. Yada
Normal definition: A Hebrew word meaning “to know.”
Seinfeld definition: When repeated, a way to omit crucial information in conversation. The prelude to a free massage and a facial. What Susan is currently doing.
See also: Lobster bisque
49. Domain
Normal definition: An area of territory owned or controlled by a ruler or government.
Seinfeld definition: What one can master if one refrains from masturbation for an extended period of time.
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