Is there a better show on television?
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“No, Oren, I don’t know how I’m going to die.”
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“I can convince small children that I’m a witch.”
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“Hey, Leslie. It’s Leslie. Hang in there. I love you. Bye.”
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“Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake.”
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Daring
Youth-Friendly
Natural
Amazing
Merry
Inviting
Tourtist-Attraction-y
Eco-Friendly
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“No, I am not crying, okay?”
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Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
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“Dear Congress, it’s Leslie again.”
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“Do you think a depressed person could make this?”
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“I…sad.”
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[Laughs] “Every breath is agony, son.”
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“Who hasn’t had gay thoughts?”
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“Thank you, alcohol.”
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“Money, please!”
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🎶 “Jingle bells, jingle way, jingle good for you.” 🎶
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“Please do not approach me on the street.”
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“I’m a straight person.”
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“Is he eating soup?”
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“Oh, is this—is this not rap?” [Turkey calls turn off]
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“Most of Congress is drunk, all of the time.”
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“All we need is a blimp and a decoy blimp.”
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“Pills, baby!” [Laughs]
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“None of this looks familiar.”
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[Hisses]
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“Oh! I just opened up a can of Whoop Ass on myself!”
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[Indistinct yelling]
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🎶 “You got sex bears” 🎶
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“I’m allergic to fingers.”
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[All chanting] “Butt stick! But stick!”
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“Can I have your email address? I just got on AOL.”
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“Those beans were a reward.”
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“Stay back, slut.”
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“Buzz Aldrin. Nice to meet you.”
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“What the mother-effing, c-ing, ess-ing, effing, k-ing eff?!”
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[Porpoise noise continues]
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Baller Time
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“I can’t believe we’re at Hogwarts!”
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[Wails]
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“Wait, did his leg grow back?”
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I can do what I want.
—Ron.
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Graphics
LESLIE KNOPE
Intern
LESLIE KNOPE
Hair
LESLIE KNOPE
Wardrobe Courtesy of
LESLIE KNOPE
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[Singing] “First, you take the cow to the killing floor…”
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