18 Important Life Lessons We Learned From “Pet Sematary”

Quick warning: the following post contains spoilers, so, ya know, proceed at your own risk!


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1.

First life lessons: if you’re in the market for a new house, maybe make sure said new house doesn’t come with a cemetery??


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2.

Like, especially if freaky kids with animal masks hang out around it.


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In general, masked kids are just not to be trusted, IMO.

3.

Another important lesson: if your neighbor tries to talk to you about some supernatural place that can revive the dead, leave!!!


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4.

On the other hand, if you **are** the person who knows about that supernatural place for reviving the dead, maybe don’t go telling your poor neighbors.


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5.

And definitely don’t go visiting said supernatural hotspot if it’s filled with ancient warnings that basically say “Keep out” in all caps…


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6.

Or if you learn that there may or may not be an ancient spirit haunting the grounds.


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7.

Pro tip: talk to your kids about death and dying before they become the walking dead…


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8.

And if your cat turns into an aggressive and violent zombie cat, maybe keep ’em away from your kids.


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9.

But, whatever you do, don’t just **abandon** them somewhere.


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10.

If you’re a doctor, and the ghost of one of your patients tells you not to do something, pay attention to them???


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11.

Because if you don’t, the ghost just might start communicating with your kids, which never leads to good things!


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12.

Speaking of ghosts, if your evil undead sister appears before you, you should definitely move.


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13.

As an aside: always use conditioner, because do you really want to come back from the dead with tangly scraggly hair like this??


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14.

If your husband starts talking to you about reviving your dead daughter, DUMP — and I can’t emphasize this enough — HIM.


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15.

And if you find out that he’s already done it, LEAVE HIM.


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16.

Never wear slippers without socks if there is a murderous girl in your house.


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17.

In general, let the dead stay dead, and above all…


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18.

For the love of all that is good and buried…watch out for trucks!


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This post was translated from Spanish.